Talk Dirty To Me
by tsl3161991
Summary: The Loud kids are determined to make Lana take a bath, and Lana is determined to stay dirty.


**Synopsis**

The Loud kids are determined to make Lana take a bath, and Lana is determined to stay dirty.

 **Story**

Lola steps out of the bathroom after a bath wearing nothing but a towel. She walks to her and Lana's bedroom and closes the door.

Lola: There's nothing like a hot bath to make a princess feel refreshed and rejuvinated.

She then removes her towel, walks to her dresser, and pulls out a pair of pink underwear. As she puts them on, Lana walks into the room covered in dirt. Suddenly, Lola notices a horrible smell. Lana then walks up to her and the horrible smell gets worse as Lana gets closer. She then realizes the smell is coming from Lana.

Lana: Hey sis, how's it going?

Lola runs out of the room in her underwear and runs into Lincoln.

Lincoln: Hey Lola, I see you've finally listened to me about how relaxing it is to run around in your underwear.

Lola:[irritated] That's not why I'm in my underwear.

Lincoln: Then why are you?

Lola: Because Lana smells terrible.

Lincoln: So, Lana always stinks.

Lola: But not this bad. It was so terrible that I couldn't even finish getting dressed.

Lincoln: Come on, she couldn't possibly smell that bad.

Lola: Oh yeah? Lana, can you please come out here?

Lana comes out of her room. Lincoln immediately notices the smell. She then walks up to Lola again.

Lana: What's the big deal? First you run out of the room in your undies, then you need me to come out here for no reason.

The rest of the Loud sisters immediately notice the smell and leave their rooms to see where it's coming from.

Lori: What's that awful smell? Has Lynn been eating spicy meatball subs again?

Lynn: Trust me, no meatball sub is spicy enough to make me produce a smell this bad.

Lori: Then what is it?

Everyone looks at Lana.

Lynn: Lana, you reek. When was the last time you had a bath?

Lana: Uh, what day is it?

Lisa: That's not a good sign.

Lori: Lana, you need to take a bath right now.

Everyone: Yeah!

Lana: Why should I? It's a free country, I can smell as bad as I want.

Lincoln: Not when this many people have to smell you.

Lana: Well I'm not taking a bath, and you can't make me.

Lola: That's what you think. Get her!

Everyone chases Lana down the stairs. Eventually, Lola catches her.

Lola: Okay Lana, we're going to give you a bath and there's nothing you can do to get out of it.

Lana: Oh realy, what about this?

Lana pulls off Lola's underwear, causing her to let go of her to cover herself. She then runs off again.

Lincoln: Why did you let go of her?

Lola:[blushing] Don't look, I'm naked!

Lincoln: Lola, we've all seen you naked before.

Lola: That doesn't mean I want you to see me naked now.

Lincoln: Just put some clothes on and help us catch Lana.

Lola runs to her room and comes out in her usual pink dress. Everyone then continues chasing Lana. They eventually corner her in the kitchen.

Lori: Okay Lana, we have you surrounded and we've blocked all of the exits. There's literally no way you can escape.

Lana: Wanna bet?

Lana escapes through Charles's pet door into the backyard, where she quickly runs up a tree. The other kids get a ladder from the garage and try to climb up it to get her, but she keeps knocking the ladder over before they can reach her.

Lincoln: We're never going to get her down at this rate.

Lynn: Don't worry, I've got a plan.

Lynn runs inside and comes out with a bag full of different balls.

Lincoln: How will those help us get Lana down?

Lynn: Duh, we throw them at her and knock her out of the tree.

Lincoln: That's a terrible idea!

Lynn: Oh come on, name one flaw in this plan.

Lincoln: She could land on her head when she falls out of the tree.

Lynn: Good point. Okay, who has another plan?

Lincoln: If we can't make her come down from the tree, maybe we can trick her into coming down.

Lana's siblings then go inside. A few minutes later, Lori comes out.

Lori: Okay Lana, you win. You don't have to take a bath.

Lana: Really, what's the catch?

Lori: There's no catch. By the way, Lincoln clogged the toilet again and we need you to fix it.

Lana: How do I know this isn't a trick?

Lori: Fine, I'll just call a professional to fix it.

Lana: Don't call a professional. If anyone finds out that Lana Loud needed a professional plumber in her own home, my reputation will be ruined.

Lana climbs down from the tree and goes inside. She gets her tools and walks upstairs to the bathroom. She then examines the allegedly clogged toilet.

Lana: There's nothing wrong with the toilet. Why would Lori say the toilet was clogged when it...

Lana sees that the bathtub is full of water and bubbles.

Lana: Oh no.

The other kids tackle Lana and strip her. Lana manages to get away and runs out the front door completely naked. She then runs away as fast as she can.

Lincoln: How are we going to catch her now?

Suddenly the doorbell rings. When they answer the door, they see Lana covering her crotch with one hand and her butt with the other and a police officer standing behind her.

Police officer: Excuse me, does this girl belong to you?

Lori: Yes, she's our sister.

Police officer: I don't want to criticize, but you really should be more vigilant with your siblings. This is a nice neighborhood, people don't need to see a little naked girl running down the street.

Lori: Will do, thanks officer.

The police officer drives away and the Loud parents walk into the room.

Lynn Sr: Kids, why did a police car just drive away from our house and why is Lana naked?

Lori: We were trying to get Lana to take a bath.

Lincoln: We managed to fill the tub and get her clothes off, but then she escaped and ran away. The police officer you saw caught her and brought her home.

Lana: Yeah, it turns out that running down the street naked isn't such a good idea.

Rita: Lana, get upstairs and take a bath right now. We'll talk about you running naked through the neighborhood later.

Lana: Ugh, fine.

Lana goes into the bathroom and takes a bath.

Lori: It was literally that easy this whole time?

Lincoln: Well, I'm going to read comics and try to forget about all of the time and effort we wasted trying to get Lana to take a bath.

Luan: Yeah, I'd like to wash my hands of this whole day. Hahaha, get it?


End file.
